Aunty Hoon Tou Kia Hua? Ft. Syeda Romana and Rubina Akhtar

In this episode I sit down with two very special women, Syeda Romana and Rubina Akhtar. This conversation is different from the others because it is not a talk about a single issue or phase of life. It is a talk about a whole lifetime, and what it means to keep starting again. When I listen back to it, I feel the warmth of a kitchen table, a cup of chai, and stories that remind you life does not stop at any age.

We talk about marriage, children, moving countries, and the quiet moment when a woman decides she wants something for herself. Both Syeda Romana and Rubina Akhtar built their own spaces, one through lifestyle blogging and the other through a YouTube cooking channel, and they did it at a time when our society often tells women their active life is over.

Raising a family, then raising yourself

Syeda Romana shares that she got married very young. She always had a deep love for studying, but her education was left incomplete. After her children grew up and moved away, the house became quiet. One son went to America. Her daughter was busy with university. Instead of waiting for the world to fill the silence, she decided to go back to her own books.

She completed her graduation and then went on to do a double Masters. She tells me, “I enjoyed that education so much more because the first time I studied, it was childhood study. When you are older, you understand how to organize life.” The small detail she emphasizes is not the degree itself. It is that her husband supported her completely. He said, “Of course, you must study.” That single cooperative voice gave her the ground to rebuild her confidence.

After retirement, a new career began

Rubina Akhtar’s story is just as striking. She spent her life moving with an army background husband, raising children, and managing a home with the constant relocation that military life demands. After her husband retired, they moved to Dubai. It was there, in a new country, that she found a platform for herself. She joined a group of Indian ladies, many of them doctors and professionals, and through them she discovered lifestyle blogging.

She describes the response she received with such joy. She became a brand ambassador for a juice brand and even traveled to Pakistan for events. “I learned so much from my children,” she says, “they taught me special effects and how to post.” She went from learning basic editing to receiving invitations and winning contests. The image she leaves with me is of a woman who decided that a new iPhone and a willingness to learn could open a door that had nothing to do with her age.

Log kya kahenge, and why you must ignore it

We talk about the noise. The log kya kahenge, what will people say, is louder in our culture than almost anywhere else. Rubina says something that makes me stop and think. She tells me people spent so much time discussing her and where she was going. She was so busy building her new life and enjoying it that she realized she did not have time to check what they were saying about her. “They had so much time to talk about me, and I did not have time to check up on it,” she laughs. She even thanks them for it, because their talking made her more determined.

Syeda Romana connects this to a mindset she sees often. In our society, a woman is first seen as a woman, and then her age is placed on top. People say, “You cannot do anything now.” She firmly believes that if you can draw confidence from any activity, you must do it. Insecurity in your personality, she shares, will affect every relationship you have. The cure is to build a self that belongs only to you.

The invisible load of working women

We do not ignore the hard parts. Syeda Romana brings up the reality for working women with children. She tells me about her own daughter, who is a doctor. Even as a professional, her daughter carries the full weight of the home. She cooks, she drops the kids off, she picks them up, and when guests arrive, she must entertain them too. The cycle does not stop.

Rubina names the missing piece. She says we never taught our sons that if a woman is working, the household responsibility must be shared. A man has to participate in the home. The power dynamic becomes top-heavy. She is clear that a woman’s individuality and independence must be protected, not squeezed out by a system that expects her to be everything for everyone while receiving very little partnership.

Learning from the older generation

One of the most beautiful parts of this conversation is when we speak about our elders. I notice that we often limit our own parents and grandparents. We tell them, “You are old now, just sit and relax.” We take away their independence. Rubina argues strongly that this is wrong. We should support them to do whatever they want to do. If they want to fly, let them fly. Their capability does not vanish just because we decide they should rest.

Syeda Romana adds that we, the younger generation, have a habit of looking outward for knowledge. We want to know what is happening in the world outside. But we rarely sit down and ask our own elders about their lives. We do not know our parents as individuals. We see them only as mother and father, not as whole persons with histories. She says, “We should know their life experiences. We can learn so much from them before they are gone.” This is a small thing that matters so deeply. It is as simple as asking, “How are you, really? What was your life like before us?”

It is never too late to start

Rubina’s passion now is her cooking channel. She cooks what she loves and films it. She shows her garden, she cuts fresh flowers, and she makes videos about things she has never seen on Pakistani YouTube before. What I love most is her energy when she talks about her garden. She goes there, gets her hands in the soil, and comes back fresh. It is physical proof that a woman can draw energy from what she builds with her own hands, not just from the roles she serves.

Syeda Romana is planning for the future in Pakistan. She is building a house and balancing family time with her own goals. The advice both of them offer, without preaching, is to stop looking at life as a straight line that ends after marriage and children. You can return to your education. You can start a channel. You can learn editing. You can travel. You can become a different version of yourself while still being a mother, a wife, a daughter.

This episode is an invitation to see the women around you clearly. Your mother is more than her care for you. Your khala and phuppo have stories that could teach you how to survive hard times. And you yourself are never too old to open a new door and walk through it with a smile.