Dear Sister: Career Choices, Trusting Your Gut & Having A Purpose In Life

This one is just me and my dear friend Maryam, sitting down for a real, unfiltered chat about the messy, beautiful, and often confusing path of figuring out our careers. We talk about the childhood fantasies we had, the unconventional choices we made, and the gut feelings that guided us when logic couldn’t. It is a conversation about finding purpose not as a single, shining destination, but as a process of exploring, reflecting, and sometimes just fighting for what feels right in the moment.

The childhood fantasy versus the real you

Growing up, the career options felt so limited. For me, it was the classic doctor fantasy, mostly because that was the script we were all given. Maryam remembers a similar funnel. In her school, the only real subjects were biology and computer science. But she had a spark for something else entirely. She won a prize for her art and suddenly realized, “arts is a thing.” That moment planted a seed, even when the world around her was saying that a creative path was not sustainable or lucrative.

For me, the shift happened around grade five when I started to notice which subjects actually lit me up. I realized I was not a math or science person. I was drawn to history, politics, writing, and storytelling. But there was a lot of cluelessness. I didn’t know anyone who had followed that trajectory, and I remember thinking, “everybody can write,” so what made my love for it a real career? It was a weird, uncertain space to be in for many years.

The power of just exploring

One thing we both identified with was the simple act of exploring. Maryam’s journey was a series of pivots. She was into computers because it came naturally to her, but then a friend introduced her to mass communication and the idea of being a news anchor. That sounded cool and creative, so she researched it and jumped in. It was never a single, grand plan. It was one step after another, following what felt exciting.

I had a similar experience. I remember getting into LUMS for political science and being the first girl in my family to live in a hostel and pursue education so passionately. When extended family would ask what I would do with that degree, I didn’t have one neat answer. I would say, “I don’t want to be one thing only. I want to be a historian, I want to do oral history, but I also want to do archival work and journalism and tell stories and do policy.” Nobody understood it, but I never let it affect me. I just knew I wanted to keep my options open.

When your gut speaks, listen

Maryam described her decision to leave computer science for mass communication as a “super gut feeling.” It felt cheesy, but it was true. She just knew deep down that this was the field for her. I had a similar moment when I was about to sign a very good journalism contract. I got off the call with the CEO, ready to sign on Monday, and then I got another call from the United States Institute of Peace. I told them we had to meet the next morning because I needed to make a decision. The work was right up my alley: foreign policy, counter-extremism, civil society. It was the kind of work I was passionate about with a brilliant team. I chose it, even though it was newer and had way more unknowns.

We talked about how you have to trust that feeling, even when you don’t know one hundred percent if it will work out. As Maryam put it, “if you think this will lead to somewhere, that’s good enough reason.” You cannot always predict the outcome, but you can keep reflecting, keep following your gut, and keep fighting for what you want in the present moment.

Being a woman in rooms built for men

This conversation took a raw turn when we discussed what it is actually like to be a woman in male-dominated spaces. I shared a memory from my journalism days that still sticks with me. I walked into a room for an interview and realized I was the only woman there. Not a single other woman from the interviewers to the camera setup to security. I was sitting there, supposed to be preparing my questions, but all I could think was, “how is it that this entire system is set up here which has so many different departments and how is it that you have created it in a way that it is unable for more women to be here?”

It is not just about being the only one. It is about the assumptions people make. I have experienced people being extra helpful because of how I look, a sort of “saving” mentality, and I have also experienced people on the other end of the spectrum assuming I would not be confident or capable because of my appearance. It is a problem from all sides. I want people to see women for more than their bodies and their clothes. Why does anything other than your brain and your hard work matter? Maryam added that this constant feeling of being noticed is a burden. We need to normalize women in these spaces so that we can stop carrying that weight.

You don’t need one true calling

One of the most freeing realizations we shared is that we do not believe in a single, true calling. I am comfortable not having one. I like doing multiple things at once. Maryam agreed, saying that what she wanted to do yesterday, she might not want to do today. She now wants to explore something more challenging. Our generation is more open to different workspaces and doing jobs on our own capacity because we are passionate about them.

We acknowledged that not everyone has the privilege to chase dreams or explore freely, especially when financial stability is a factor. If you can have a job that has meaning, makes you happy, and pays you, that is the best thing ever. But if you are not there yet, you can still find meaning in other places. The most important thing is to keep that energy of discovery alive in your life. As Maryam said, “career in itself is a process, it does not have to be your ending.”

A note to our sisters

We ended this conversation by just feeling proud of each other. Proud of the working women we are becoming, proud of our outlook towards financial independence, and proud of the fight we put up every day to change perspectives. We are not experts. We are just sharing our experiences. But we really, really want the girls watching this to go out, keep their options open, explore, and find a meaning outside of their relationships. Find a purpose you can look forward to, no matter what you choose. And always, always trust your gut.