Dear Sister: Friendships, Pakistani Dramas, & The Sister Code

This episode is a little different. I sit down with two of my favourite people, Arooj Abrar and Usra Murtaza, to finally launch something we have been dreaming about for a while. A new segment called Dear Sister. It is a space where we can talk about the things that matter most to us as women. Friendships, the women who raised us, the dramas we watch, and that unspoken code we share. Today we are unpacking all of it.

The name that stuck

We talk about how we landed on Dear Sister. We knew we wanted something that felt like a warm hug, not too English, not too Urdu, but something that sits right in the middle where most of us live. “We tried so many names,” Arooj says, “everything was either too formal or too cute. Then we thought, what if we just call it what it is? A letter to a sister. A safe place.” And that was it. The name felt like a hand reaching out. It carries the whole vibe. Honest, loving, and a little bit of that desi soul.

The sister code

We have all known it, even if we never named it. The sister code is the unspoken rule that you protect another woman, especially when the world is ready to blame her. Usra shares a story from school. “There was a girl who was getting attention from boys, and everyone started calling her names. They said she was doing it for attention. But I remember thinking, why is it always her fault? Why is the girl always the one who has to carry the shame?” That is the sister code in action. It is refusing to pile on. It is understanding that behind every woman’s actions, there is a story you might not know. “Log kya kahenge, what will people say, is the fastest way to crush someone,” Arooj adds. “But when a sister steps in and says, ‘I see you, I am not judging you,’ that changes everything.”

Friendships that heal

I have always believed that female friendships are a kind of magic. They are not just about having fun. They are about survival. We talk about those small moments of pure support. The kind when a friend sends you a message out of nowhere saying, “I am so proud of you.” That single line can shift your whole day. “You don’t need a long speech,” Usra says. “Just a ‘I’m here’ text can remind you that you are not alone.” There is a special kind of power in women uplifting women. It gives you a courage you did not know you had. When you know someone has your back, you can walk into any room a little taller.

Mothers, daughters, and the women behind the roles

This conversation goes deep into the relationships we have with our mothers. We often forget that our mothers were whole people before we came along. They had dreams, they made sacrifices, and they navigated a world that was not always kind to them. “I used to think my mother did not understand me,” Arooj admits. “But after I got married, I suddenly saw her differently. I saw a woman who had given up so much. And I wished I had understood that earlier.” That shift in perspective is so familiar. We talk about how the mother-daughter bond often strengthens only after a daughter becomes a mother herself. But we need to bring that understanding forward. We need to see the women behind the roles, not just the mothers, the mothers-in-law, the sisters. Every woman you meet has a story of struggle and resilience. When you start to see that, judgment softens.

The drama of pakistani dramas

We could not have this conversation without calling out the content we consume. Pakistani dramas have a huge influence on how we view relationships. And frankly, a lot of it is toxic. “You turn on the TV and you see women crying, being mistreated, and then forgiving the unforgivable,” Usra says. “What message does that send? That a woman’s worth is tied to her suffering?” We talk about the few characters who broke the mold, like a strong female lead who refused to be a victim. But those are rare. Social media is no better. It shows us picture-perfect lives and sets unrealistic standards. We need more honest, positive portrayals of women. Not just women who are strong in the face of tragedy, but women who are simply living their lives, making choices, and being supported by their communities. We deserve stories that inspire us, not ones that teach us to accept less.

Small things that matter

At the heart of this episode is the reminder that sisterhood is built in the tiny moments. A message, a listening ear, a shared laugh. It is not about grand gestures. It is about showing up. “I remember once I was really struggling, and a friend just sat with me. She did not try to fix anything. She just said, ‘I am here.’ That was everything,” Arooj shares. That is the energy we want Dear Sister to carry. A space where you can be honest about the hard parts without feeling like you need to put on a brave face. Where you can admit that you are not okay, and someone will hold space for you. That is the small thing that matters most.

Why this conversation matters

This episode is for every woman who has ever felt alone in her struggles. It is for the girl who has been judged by the world and needs a sister to remind her that she is not defined by other people’s opinions. It is for the daughter who is trying to understand her mother. It is for the friend who wants to be a better support system. We started Dear Sister because we believe that women’s voices, when they come together, are a force. And we want to add just a little bit of light to your day. So, if you are listening, know that this is an invitation. Pull up a chair, and let’s talk. Like sisters do.