Dear Sister: Thrifting, Fashion & Our Experiences

This one is a sisterly catch-up with my go-to person Isa and our newest teammate at 189 Media, Sanya Farugi. On paper we gathered to talk about thrifting, but what really unfolded was a honest look at the clothes we buy, the money we spend, and the strange shame that still clings to pre-loved pieces in desi homes.

When a fashion dream zigzags into media

Sanya grew up sketching in her notebook, fully convinced fashion was her forever. She even started a degree in fashion design and textiles before switching to mass communication. The shift felt big: one moment you are in a world of glitz and glam, the next you are in reporting and news. She described it as “a total different thing, media say relate but when you go in the insides of it, fashion it’s all Glitz and Glam, everything’s shiny… media is like a very technology and very on point situations, journalism.” Still, she calls it totally worth it. She found teachers who became like friends and a voice inside her telling her she belonged in advertising and public relations. That pivot ended up bringing her here, to this very conversation.

My first trip to the thrift bazaar

I confessed that thrifting came to me embarrassingly late. For so long I threw money at brands I barely wore. Then I walked into a local bazaar with a friend, the kind where you have to dig, and something clicked. “There was so much variety and it’s very costly as well,” Sanya recalled about her own first time. “I was like, is this really us? Is this how my life is going to be?” That feeling, half fascinated and half uncertain, is so familiar. Isa and I both nodded. I still remember the first pre-loved piece I saw that looked better than my new ones, and I realised I had been making it harder for myself.

The quiet stigma around secondhand

Even when our wallets know better, the log kya kahenge, what will people say, hangs in the air. We wondered why some still treat pre-loved clothing as a last resort. Isa put it plainly: “If you need clothes and you’re getting it at a good rate and it’s serving its purpose, why the hatred?” Sanya added that the climate conversation alone should nudge us harder toward sharing what we already have. She reminded us that abroad people thrift entire homes, furniture and all, while here we cling to the idea that used equals less-than. The truth is, swapping or selling something you never wore is not a fallback. It is just sensible.

The fit struggle is real

We could not escape the dressing-room heartbreak. As a plus-sized woman, I know the drill: an XL here is a medium in real life. “Getting plus size clothes in Pakistan is a task, it’s how to emphasise it is a task,” I said, and Isa jumped in about length issues. Sanya nodded: she used to buy unstitched for the same reason. Even online shopping tricks you, with winters approaching and no guarantee the parcel will actually fit. These small, draining moments are why thrifting can feel like relief, because when you find that one piece that hugs you right, it is not about the price tag anymore. It is about comfort and finally feeling seen.

The tiny shift that matters

Toward the end, we stumbled on the idea of digital clothing, outfits you buy just for a photo. So much of what we purchase is for the gram anyway. I laughed, thinking of my own closet: half the clothes I buy are for a single picture. If a filter can give me the look and save money, why not? But we also circled back to the real, physical act of passing things on. Sanya remembered how influencers selling pre-loved pieces normalised the habit. I thought of floods, of families rebuilding, and how something as simple as giving away warm clothes can mean everything. “It’s okay, it’s okay guys, it’s okay,” Isa kept saying, and maybe that is the crux: we do not need to act cool about it, we just need to start.

Why this chat lands close to home

For women like us, raised to believe new is better and old is charity, thrifting can feel like quiet rebellion. It is a small, daily way of telling ourselves that our worth is not tied to a branded tag. This episode is an invitation, not a lecture. Next time you see a pre-loved jacket online, or a friend is clearing out her wardrobe, remember Isa’s words: you get it at a good rate, and it serves its purpose. That is enough.