Missing The Slow Mornings

I woke up this morning with the thought that I haven’t slept properly in six months. A lot has changed in six months. And I caught myself missing my slow mornings, the ones that used to set the tone for my whole day. This one is just me, thinking out loud about what I’ve lost, what I’ve learned, and the tiny details of motherhood that nobody really talks about.

The gift of slow mornings

Before I had a baby, slow mornings were a non-negotiable. I used to wake up early, not to scroll in bed, but to do things slowly. Have breakfast, read a little, get ready without rushing. I would still get to work on time, but the start of my day felt calm. “I just felt that gave me a bigger sense of control on how I want to have my day,” I remember. “I felt calmer during the day, I felt I achieved more during the day.” That calm set the tone, and everything else felt a little easier.

Now, those mornings are gone. I wake up to chaos, trying to catch up on sleep that never feels deep enough. I’m not sleeping properly, and I can’t compromise on sleep the way I used to. So the slow morning is the first thing I let go. And I miss it.

Life in increments

When you become a mother, your life is measured in small windows. “Everything you do will sort of have to have a break in the middle, abrupt,” I’ve realized. In the early months, it’s every two hours: feed, pump, settle. Now it’s still there, just in slightly longer stretches. “You just have this window and you have to figure out in that window.”

This is the part that nobody prepared me for. Not just the exhaustion, but the way your productivity gets broken into pieces. A single task now takes three days because it keeps getting interrupted. I used to be able to flow through a day, but now I’m starting and stopping, starting and stopping. It’s frustrating, even when you love the baby more than anything.

Patience and presence

I noticed something else. When I’m only focused on being a mom, I have so much patience. If my baby takes forever to nap, it’s fine because that’s the only thing I’m doing. But when I have work waiting, or a to-do list, I get frustrated. I would rush him, and feel my mood dip. I realized I was wasting energy on things that were not in my control.

So I made a conscious effort to change. “If things are not in your control, there is absolutely no point of being frustrated with them,” I told myself. Now I try to be present in whatever I’m doing. If I’m putting him to sleep, I’m just putting him to sleep. That shift has made everything softer. “Calmness, patience, and presence in motherhood will only make everything else in life easier.” That’s what I’ve learned.

What nobody tells you

We hear about sleepless nights and exhaustion all the time, but the tiny details are often left out. The loss of control, the chaos of a morning that never starts slow, the way life gets chopped into increments. “Nobody tells you about these really tiny details,” I said to myself. And I think it’s important to share them, not to scare anyone, but to let you know that if you’re feeling this, you’re not broken. It’s just real.

Being there for the mothers in your life

Before I became a mother, I was so clueless. I had friends, cousins, coworkers who had babies, and I didn’t know how to show up for them. “I realized after becoming a mother, oh my god, how I was just so absent, so clueless,” I think now. It took my own experience to understand the small ways we can be there: not with advice, but with acknowledgment. Acknowledge that their life has changed. Acknowledge that you understand things are different now. Just showing up can go a long way.

So if you have a new mother in your circle, ask her how she is, really listen, and don’t try to fix anything. Just be there.

A little note to my listeners

I know I talk about motherhood a lot these days. It’s the season I’m in, and I’m sharing it because I wish someone had shared these things with me. But I see you, my all-female audience, and I know not all of you are mothers or plan to be. I promise I’ll keep talking about other parts of life too. For now, I hope these reflections help you feel a little less alone, or a little more prepared, or maybe just a little more patient with yourself.

I’ll be back with more conversations soon. Thank you for sticking around.