My best friends wedding & Parenting Fails

This one is just me, reflecting on a weekend that was full of love, but also so much guilt. My best friend got married, and if you had told teenage me how it would actually unfold, I would not have believed you.

The childhood dream vs reality

Since we were little, we planned it all. The mehendi dances, the late night gossip, the matching outfits. I imagined I would be there for every function, fully present. But adult life showed up. I am thirty now, married, and a mother to an eight month old. The reality was a lot different.

Attending a wedding with a baby

Bringing my son, eight months old at the time, to another city, into loud, crowded spaces, was overwhelming for him and for me. His bedtime is 8:30 pm, his separation anxiety was at its peak. “Logon ke beech mein le jaayein, usse neend bhi aa rahi hai, anxiety ho rahi hai,” I remember thinking. At the baraat, he clung to me, crying, and I spent the entire function trying to soothe him. I missed the moments I had waited my whole life for. I wore the outfit, but I did not get to participate. I just managed.

The guilt of adult friendships

Afterwards, I felt a heavy guilt. As a mother, I couldn’t give my undivided attention to my baby. As a friend, I couldn’t show up the way I wanted. Adult friendships come with this unspoken sadness. You want to be there, but life has other demands. Log kya kahenge, what will people think, if you can’t even enjoy the wedding? It stung. I even snapped at my son in frustration and then immediately said sorry. “I wanted to be forgiving to myself,” I told myself later. I had to let go of the picture-perfect version in my head.

Forgiving myself and finding the small wins

I realised something important: I did what I could with what I had. My husband and I tried to manage, and we survived. Not every moment was perfect, but there were small beautiful slices: the mehendi evening where we managed a quick dinner, a stolen moment to see my friend as a bride. I hugged her and told her I loved her. That was enough.

Why this matters

If you are a new mom trying to keep your friendships alive while raising a tiny human, I see you. It will not look like the movies. You will feel like you failed both sides. But give yourself grace. You can’t split into two. The love is still there, even if the participation isn’t. Forgive yourself, and celebrate the small things that did happen.